Generally, those who don’t understand you are the closest ones in your life. Because your existence means a father, or a friend, or a partner for them.
However, you are not a son, or a friend, or a partner in actual fact. It wouldn’t be right to identify people with only one description. A person could be an excellent engineer, or a perfect artist. Hence, you can see that those successful people are really knowledgeable about numerous topics. Because they have a totalitarian perspective for the life. Judging people refers to the fact that we just see the one side of that person. Yes! You could be right about that person, and he might seem nervous to you by the reason of weakness in his social relationships. But you see only one side of him, and you judge him with this. Maybe he’s an excellent confidant when he’s with his friends. That’s why judging people and criticising them means the fact that we look from a narrow perspective to life. Now let’s take a look at those people who judge us. Those people who have one-way perspective. Those people who judge us are generally our closest ones. Let’s assume that we watched a very beautiful film and when we decided to tell our feelings about it to our friends, we’d expect them to have same feelings like us. So did they give the same reaction like us? No. Therefore we feel frustrated. It occurs when we share our favorite song as well. That song makes us to remember some memories, or maybe some dreams of ourselves, and we’d want to share it with everyone. We think that they will give the same reaction too. So what happens next? “Dude wait a little bit more, best part is coming.”
We take us our existence as an individual, an individual with a past, feelings, and dreams. We think that other people see us like this as well. It’s like thinking the way that our voice which we hear is the same as others hear it. In fact, our voice which we hear is completely different from the voice which other people hear. Anyway, let’s get to the subject. For those people who are near to you, you are a friend, or a darling, or a child. One of them sees your right side, the other one sees your left side, and some of them see your front side. The only one who sees your existence with its all sides is you. This being the case, this paradox creates a situation which refers to the fact that those people closest to you are the ones who don’t understand you. Interestingly enough, those who see you from distant judge you more impartially. Because of this, the ones who are closer to understand you are actually the ones who are far away from you. I don’t want to mystify it. I want to finish this article with a simple example.
If you’re so close to the sun, you can see just one side of it. But if you look at it from far away, you can see it with a holistic view this time. However, the moon has a dark side which doesn’t appear all the time. So every single person has an invisible side which they hide from others. We judge people with just one side of them, but who knows what kind of things exist inside them?
Actually summary can be done with this word which belongs to Sâmiha Ayverdi:
“You’re with me here, but you’re not with me.”