I don’t know why, but I feel more peaceful at nights. While everyone was wandering around in their dreams, some days I am suddenly woking up. I can’t make time for myself during all the day, but spending time in the dead of the night is the right choice for me. Especially, I am amazingly productive in this period of time. In fact, I am writing these sentences at midnight. I used to spend these times to face myself back in the day. Questioning my past and present was the main topic of this duration. I was planning my future too, sometimes. But I don’t do it anymore. I am just listening the silence. Without purposes, questions, critics, just leaving it alone. I am beginning to understand the value of thinking, more precisely greatness of comprehending things and being conscious at that time, the period of time which I am listening the whispers of silence.
When I was lost in the darkness of night, sometimes silence leaves his place to the sounds of clock. “Ticktack ticktack” screams fill up my mind. It’s like some voice tells me: “One more second fell from your life tree. Get a hold of yourself. What’s the matter with you?”. Then I hear the sound of refrigerator which is full of wastefulnesses. What about the light of turned off television which constantly sprawls all over the room? It makes me think the way that during the day we’re watching it, and during the night it’s watching us. It’s not a lie, by the way. Don’t we see the most special and private moments of our lives in these boxes? Light of my charging phone is blinking. It’s like it wants my attention, and it makes me laugh. Someone likes my one of photographs, wow! It’s a bliss for me! At least, phone tells me honestly that it wants my attention. What about our needs about being loved, admired and approved by other people? I am wandering around in such an absurdism. All of my silence gets ruined, and I am starting to talk with devices. How didn’t I realize their words until this time?
I go out to the balcony to recover myself with fresh air, but this time my eyes see a very interesting event outside. Streetlights override those huge stars. Unbelievable! Moon hides behind the clouds like it’s seeking for a silence. As it were angry with all humanity, it only faces towards the sun. Thank goodness, azan’s voice suppresses voices of those babbler devices. After that, sun starts to rise again. It removes the haze of air. My cold body starts to warm again. I am so happy that sun isn’t angry with us, at least. If it sulks us too, it’ll be too hard to achieve things with our trashed minds. Naturally, I try to find a rooster sound. But I can’t find it in this urban area. Rooster is angry with us too, I guess. Also that grilled chicken of our cafeteria comes to my mind. I can’t help but to think “I wonder why rooster makes no noise, because of the reason that it’s angry with us? Or the fact that we eat it?”.
A long time afterwards, I’m getting ready at the drop of a hat. Instead of spending my time with preparing breakfast which contains cheese, bread and tomato, I am having it with Nesquik in just 5 minutes, and I am feeling proud of saving my time which is about only 3 minutes. When I come across to the subway automats, I realize that some device makes weird noises. While my gut tells me “What does this thing want from me?”, it answers my question by itself so quickly.
“Only banknote please.”